I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
