VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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