just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
