How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My penis needs a shock collar
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize