On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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