We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just blew my weed a kiss
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
