so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I deserve this hangover.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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