She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
