My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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