just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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