All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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