Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize