Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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