so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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