i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
