Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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