Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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