i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We need to get me chipped asap
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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