its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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