Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
