So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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