I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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