Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
operation harelip BJ is a go
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
