Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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