Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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