You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
