we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
