it wasn't lemon gatorade
im about as happy as oj after his trial
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
