My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
