if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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