I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Randomize