Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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