someone get that fucking seahorse.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
