wakey wakey hands off snakey
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
