READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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