I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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