Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
