That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
