She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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