you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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