did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
