We won't sleep together?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
So much Jack, so little girl.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
