VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
