...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
