yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
