I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
