actually, I'm a sock model
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
