just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
