Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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