Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
