Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
