Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
be right there i have to get my cape
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
