Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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