Soap is not a condiment
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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