First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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