Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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