P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
