I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
