just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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