brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
it hurts more in the daytime
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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