He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
