I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
