SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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