We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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