pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you will always have a special place in my vag
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
